Romeo and Juliet Instant Messenger
by rebeldesigns
Summary: Certain scenes of RJ told hilariously via IM. Don't ask me how they have cell phones, they just do.


**Romeo and Juliet:**

**A Modern Interpretation Using IM**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Romeo and Juliet, nor do I want to.

**A/N: **I did this as an English assignment. I have a pretty cool English teacher. If you really like it, I might do other scenes from Shakespearean plays.

Character Screename Key:

**Romeo:** **Loverboy135**

**Mercutio:** **Mdawg**

**Benviolio:** **Niceguy101**

**Juliet:** **OXcapulethoneyXO**

**Nurse:** **motherfigure8**

_Act 2, Scenes 1 & 2_

This conversation takes place between the hours of 10 and 11 PM._**Romeo**__ enters the scene, clutching his black Motorola Razr. He is fleeing from __**Mercutio**__ and __**Benvolio**__, who were teasing him, trying to find out where he is and to get him angry. Romeo signs onto AIM via mobile connection._

**Mdawg**** is online.**

**Loverboy135**** has signed on to yell ****Mdawg**

**Loverboy135:**ur so mean :(

**Mdawg**: Wat?

**Loverboy135:** i no u no wat i'm talkin about

**Mdawg:** no, idk

**Loverboy135:** then y r u callin me names?

**Mdawg:** u r such a wuss. i wuz jk

**Niceguy101**** has signed on to try and be the Peacemaker.**

**Niceguy101:** Stop fighting, children.

**Loverboy135:** (ignoring Benvolio) U were NOT just kidding. I no u, u r a meanie. Meanie meanie, meanie Mercutio. :'(

**Niceguy101:** Guys? Hello?

**Mdawg:** (ignoring Benvolio) now look who's calling names, O King of Tools. eye roll

**Loverboy135:** hey! i'm not a tool!

**Niceguy101:** People! Over here!

**Mdawg:** o yea rite ur not a tool. whining and pining after that rosaline chick for a good month and listening to emo music while locked in your room crying doesn't make u a tool. right.

**Niceguy101:** Are you listening to me _at all_?

**Loverboy135:** (still ignoring Benvolio) i wasn't crying… much. listen, just b/c girls like me because i have feelings is no reason 4 u 2b MEAN. O

**Mdawg:** ha ya rite. girls dig me. it must be my good looks. girls don't like u; Rosaline h8s u b/c u r a WIMP! XD

**Niceguy101:** Uh, guys?

**Mdawg** and Loverboy135: **WHAT?!**

**Niceguy101:** Jeez. Attitude. Anyway, what I was _going_ to say was that you two really should stop the "witty banter." It's not witty and it's getting on everyone's nerves (mainly my own.)

**Mdawg:** ur getting on MY nerves

**Loverboy135:** ya! wat he said--

**Mdawg:** and btw, benvolio, stop being such a goody two shoes. ur almost as bad as Wimpy over there

**Loverboy135:** HEY!!

**Mdawg:** notice how i never said "romeo," yet he knew i wuz talking about him

**Niceguy101:** Mercutio, why are we Instant Messaging when we are literally TWO feet away from each other?

**Mdawg:** y r u tlaking like that

**Mdawg:** talking

**Niceguy101:** Like what?

**Mdawg:** Like this. With full words and complete sentences and punctuation and grammar, etc.

**Niceguy101:** What's wrong with that?

**Mdawg:** the whole _point_ of IMing is shorthand.

**Niceguy101:** Shorthand? The English language is so beautiful. It would be a sin to butcher it with this "shorthand" you speak of!

**Mdawg:** sighw/e nvm. u r such a nerd.

**Loverboy135:** i'm leaving. u r ignoring me.

**Mdawg:** isn't that wat u wanted in the 1st place, rite?

**Loverboy135:** o, rite. peace out girl scouts

**Niceguy101:** Wait, we were supposed to be finding out where you are! Where are you now??

**Loverboy135 has signed off to stalk OXcapulethoneyXO.**

**Niceguy101:** Shoot. Well, guess it's just you and me, Mercutio. How about a nice, intense roleplaying game? Does Dungeons and Dragons sound like fun?

**Mdawg**** has hastily signed off.**

_Romeo scales the Capulets' garden wall, in search for Juliet, who is up in her room. _

**OXcapulethoneyXO is online.**

**Loverboy135 has signed on to profess love to OXcapulethoneyXO.**

**Loverboy135:** heyyy babe. wat?

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** nm, u?

_Juliet, unaware that Romeo is spying on her from the bushes, goes out onto the balcony with her Blackjack to get a better internet connection._

**Loverboy135:** i've been w8ing 4 ur love all nite.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** raises eyebrows u have no idea how sketchy that sounds, do u?

**Loverboy135:** o, i didn't mean it like _that_

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** oh? wat did u mean it like?

**Loverboy135:** nvm. btw, u… uh, look like the sun, & ur eyes are like two starry thingies… o, and ur cheeks r, um… really bright.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** huh?

**Loverboy135:** yeah. some dude named Shakespeare told me to tell u that. sounds kinda lame, huh?

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** kinda. but it think it's cute

**Loverboy135:** i'm not tryin 2 b cute, i'm trying to be suave

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** o. right. suave. gotcha

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** anyway. where r u?

**Loverboy135:** promise u won't get freaked out.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** promise o)

**Loverboy135:** look down.

_Juliet looks down and sees Romeo waving up at her. She gasps, shocked, then recovers quickly._

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** that's amazing! how did u get there? the wall is, like, 20ft tall! even tybalt can't do that!

**Loverboy135:** i really love u, so i scaled the walls with the light wings of love.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** really?! 4 me? 333

**Loverboy135:** P no. i used a step ladder. it just sounded more romnatic.

**Loverboy135:** romantic. besides, romeo is much better than tybalt.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** since when do u refer 2 urself in 3rd person? only stupid and/or egotistical ppl do that. juliet doesn't like those kinds of people

**Loverboy135:** u just did it 2!! so i guess we're both stupid, egotistical ppl then

**OXcapulethoneyXO is changing the subject.**

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** u no, i wish that u weren't a montague. that would make my life a lot easier.

**Loverboy135:** i wish, baby, i wish.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** b/c if u called a rose "fungus" it would still smell good, u no wat i'm sayin? so, if u were called "bob" instead of being "romeo", u would still b the same person, and my parents wouldn't h8 u. at least, i think…

**Loverboy135:** ummm yea i think i no wat ur sayin. if u really want, u can call me bob.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** u'd do that 4 me? awww smooch u do know that if any of my family find u, they'll kill you. just a heads up.

**Loverboy135:** yea but it's nighttime, so i can hide out 4 a little bit ur place. besides, i don't care, cuz i'm w/you, & that's all that matters 2 me.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** blushes

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** ummm, BTW y r u IMing me when we're across from each other?

**Loverboy135:** b/c it's free. ur in my network, rite?

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** Horizon mobile network? ya.

**Loverboy135:** sooo let's get down 2 business. u wanna get married?

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** well ya, sure, but not tonite. i feel kinda like we're rushing into things.

**Loverboy135:** but i really _want to!!_ don't u luv me?

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** of course i do. but it just seems too—

**Loverboy135:** fine! be that way!

**Loverboy135 has signed off to pout.**

**OXcapulethoneyXO: **Romeo? yt?

**Loverboy135 has signed back on because he is weak-willed.**

**Loverboy135:**sry bout that. wat were we talking about?

**Motherfigure8 has signed on to find OXcapulethoneyXO.**

**motherfigure8:** Juliet, where are you, hon? You need to come inside.

**OXcapuelethoneyXO:** ummm, just 1 sec. _(aside to Loverboy135)_ Romeo, sweetie, my nanny is calling me. i gtg.

**Loverboy135:** w8!!! noooooooooo don't leave me i don't know how i will survive!

**motherfigure8:** Hello? Juliet? You really need to get inside.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** _(to Nurse) _1 sec, plz. wait— how did u get a cell phone?

**motherfigure8:** i got it 4 my b-day from peter. he's such a nice guy, for a servant.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** o i c. just ONE more sec. kk?

**motherfigure8:** Oh, alright. Young whippersnapper.

**motherfigure8 has signed off in a huff.**

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** romeo, if u really wanna marry me, i'll have my nanny meet u. wat time u wanna meet?

**Loverboy135:** ummm, 8? 9? ya, 9 is good. it needs 2 b a public place.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** k

**OXCapulethoneyXO:** ttyl8r

**Loverboy135:** c u

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** romeo?

**Loverboy135:** wat?

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** uh, i just 4got wat i had 2 say. nvm, sry.

**Loverboy135:** s'ok. i'll just stay here till u remember.

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** no, i have low battery. i want u 2 stay, but u can't be caught, either. good nite

**Loverboy135:** night

**OXcapulethoneyXO:** parting is so sad, but sweet-- like sweet n sour sauce. o god now i'm hungry. maybe i'll get takeout. yum. love ya lots, bye 33

**Loverboy135:** huh?

**OXcapulethoneyXO has signed off to go to bed now. Sorry Loverboy135.**

**Loverboy135:** sighs happily she's so awesome :3

Fin


End file.
